the hot water crept slowly up onto her skin as she slid into it. a sigh passed from her lips.
the tub was large and, because there was no better way to describe it, luxurious.
she made herself comfortable and leaned her head upon the cushioned rest at the end of the tub.
her eyes shut.
"been so long," she said out loud to herself, "since i've gotten to do this..."
she raised a hand out of the water and traced a finger upon the surface of it, drawing little designs, sending irregular ripples through it.
her muscles relaxed. that was good. she needed to relax. she had been so tense lately. so tense, so stressed, and so scared.
in her mind, a memory broke the chains of its bondage and began a long and arduous journey to the surface, like that of a germinating seed.
it sprouted, and she remembered.
---
"it'll make you feel all better," a man was saying. he was holding a needle.
"no!" she screamed. "i don't want it! i'm not bad, i'm not!" she jerked her arm away. "i don't need, i don't need...it, or you, or anything, or anyone, or..." her heart pounded.
she imagined that the needle would pierce her, and she would begin to bleed, and bleed, and bleed until there was not a crimson droplet left in her veins, and she would fall to the ground, white as snow, and crumble into dust. tears sprung to her eyes and terror gripped her mind with icy talons.
dust. she didn't want to turn to dust, she didn't, she didn't...
so much pain. why do we make each other suffer so much? why do we treat anguish and torture like the playthings of a child?
"listen to me," the man was saying, "i understand that you're frightened, that you've seen some terrible things today, but god damn it, so have the rest of us, and you've got to calm down!"
"i'm fine!" she shouted and shrunk back. she was running out of room. her eyes snapped around, looking for somewhere to go. "don't touch me," she sobbed.
"be careful," another voice was saying, "someone told me she was dangerous."
she sunk down into a corner. she didn't want to be a part of Them anymore. didn't want anything to do with their war games and their engineered tragedy and their power. she hated Them more than she could make her mind understand.
"i'm okay, everything's okay..." tears rolled down her face. anger suddenly flashed in her. "how could anyone do that?" she screamed at the top of her lungs, hopefully in the direction of the man. "they did it! this was all for show! they killed them all for show! how could..."
"who's they?" the other voice asked.
"ignore her," the man with the needle said. he approached her.
nowhere to run. nowhere.
he kneeled by her. "there, now," he was saying, "are you going to be good now and let me do this?" she tried to pull away but couldn't.
cotton on her arm. the liquid was cold on her skin. the air was eating away at it. at her skin. it wanted inside, INSIDE. she began to panic again.
prick
she cried out as the needle passed through her skin and into a vein. it was going to kill her - kill her!
splurt... the plunger descended. a liquid forced its way out.
her world went sanguine and soporific.
the panic melted away into grey nothingness.
she looked with half-shut eyes at the man with the empty needle and smiled faintly.
"Wonderful." the words passed from her lips as if they had been said by someone else.
---
the water was still warm but she felt as cold as ice.
her muscles were tense again. something in her body ached badly.
"Wonderful," she said the word out loud. "Wonderful..."